Article

Restoring Fatherhood

Don E. Eberly
Thursday, May 3rd 2007
May/Jun 2005

Rarely has the nation’s debate shifted with such breathtaking speed. Polls continue to show a significant shift in concern from fiscal to social deficits. In spite of its economic greatness, America is increasingly embarrassed in the eyes of the world for its social conditions. It is humbling for the world’s richest industrial nation to have a poverty rate twice that of any other industrial nation and to be singled out by international agencies as a world leader in child poverty and youth homicides.

At the risk of oversimplifying complex social problems, evidence continues to mount that father absence is the chief cause of most of our costly social maladies: poverty, educational failure, teen suicide, drug abuse, illegitimacy, and violence.

Consider poverty. A recent study indicated that the poverty rate for children born to mothers who finished high school, got married, and waited until they were twenty to have their first child was 8 percent compared to a poverty rate of 79 percent for those whose mothers didn’t. The average poverty rate for children of single mothers presently stands at 47 percent; it is 65 percent for black children. Those who would cast the problem in racial terms need reminding that black two-parent households earn two to three times as much as white, single-parent households.

Although growing numbers now agree that fatherhood has been devalued and accept that it has some social utility, few are clear on why fatherhood really matters, or why its restoration is so central to American progress. To appreciate the scope of father absence, consider that 40 percent-nearly four of every ten children-now go to bed in a household where the biological father is absent, and that one out of every two children will spend at least some time with one parent before the age of eighteen.

Father absence is already competing with father presence for the norm, and the trend is expected to worsen by the turn of the century. If out-of-wedlock births is a harbinger of the future, a visit to almost any maternity ward in America, urban or rural, presents a portrait of a fatherless and Dickensonian America in the year 2010.

Free societies can endure a lot of challenges-dramatic economic dislocation and a decline in educational achievement, public health, and competitiveness. With the right mix of sound poli-cy and collective resolve, many of these problems can at least be ameliorated. What free societies cannot survive, however, is widespread crime and disorder, and the fear generated by violence.

Who is it that is responsible for the mayhem, and who is it that we fear precisely? It is males, and predominantly fatherless males, who have not been properly socialized. Sixty percent of America’s rapists, 72 percent of adolescent murderers, and 70 percent of long-term prison inmates grew up without fathers. James Q. Wilson reminds us that human progress depends largely upon the socialization of males, a simple fact that was recognized throughout all recorded human history and only forgotten recently.

Neither child well-being, nor societal well-being is likely to be significantly improved until fathers are recognized as unique and irreplaceable. Reconnecting them to children would do more than restore a happy and healthy childhood to every child; it would reduce more of our nation’s costly problems than all of America’s pending legislation combined

So What Do We Do?

For starters, we need to recognize the danger of putting too much stock in national policy agendas. Although policy changes are welcome, their effects are ultimately marginal. If greater prosperity and broader income distribution were the sole answer to America’s social problems, America would be on the verge of a renaissance.

Consider the experience of the 1980s-a decade of surging economic growth and almost ceaseless family values rhetoric. The impact on the single-parent household? It grew by 40 percent. Any president’s welcome interest in the family will meet the same fate if he concludes that policy tools alone are sufficient. There are no revolutionary ideas in politics.

The chief ingredients in America’s social regression involve factors that are less susceptible to fiscal and programmatic adjustments. America’s new frontiers lie in the realm of social change. A good many social problems are explained predominantly by a shift in social norms, norms that can change again. In recent decades, we have seen profound changes in social attitudes toward gender, race, physical fitness, smoking, and our treatment of the environment.

Americans are more prone than ever to sanction behaviors that are protective of the natural ecology. By contrast, in the realm of social ecology, our language turns to personal choice and expressive individualism. When it comes to human conduct that is most injurious to child well-being, America practices an unfettered laissez-faire.

Fatherhood is predominantly a cultural, not biological, institution, which means its functioning requires social support; its dysfunctioning requires social opprobrium. To suggest, as many have, that it’s all negotiable, will only ensure its demise.

The National Fatherhood Initiative was launched (with the help of two veteran fatherhood experts, David Blankenhorn of the Institute for American Values, and Dr. Wade Horn, former U.S. Commissioner of Children, Youth and Families) with an ambitious goal: to destroy the myth of the superfluous father within American society and to restore responsible fatherhood as a national priority.

The National Fatherhood Initiative wants to enlist fathers because they matter, because most men want to be good fathers, and because good fathers need society’s support to survive. A rising social consciousness about fatherhood’s importance could change America’s social landscape.

Fathers must be reconnected to their children by rediscovering historically the masculine traits of strong male nurturance. As author Richard Louv has said, “Men will not move back into the family until our culture reconnects masculinity and fatherhood, until young men come to see fatherhood, not just paternity, as the fullest expression of manhood.”

Restoring fatherhood and reversing the decline in child well-being will require social change that is promoted predominantly through the value-shaping institutions in the civic sector: churches, charities, and civic organizations.

A new social movement must be launched to strengthen parenting, particularly to restore the necessary social norms of responsible fatherhood. Without moral overkill, without vilifying good single mothers or decent men who have been less-than-perfect fathers, a new ideal for fatherhood must be resewn into the social fabric.

American’s public and private institutions should be called upon to reinforce a simple and consistent message that is heard by all, beginning at an early age: becoming a parent is important business and it requires responsibility, respect, and readiness for the care of children. It is the well-being of children, after all, that must again be our highest priority.

Thursday, May 3rd 2007

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